April 2010 was a significant month in the history of our relationship. We had been engaged for a few months and were right in the middle of planning our June 12 nuptials. Planning our wedding had been relatively low stress and more excitement. I was CONSUMED. So when Bill got a safety job, oh my word finally, I was ecstatic! I wouldn't have to worry how to support the two of us on my teacher salary. Along with the excitement came a flood of other emotions. I was so proud of him for sticking it out in a tough job market and going after a job that would value him for his degree and his knowledge, or so we thought. I was nervous that he'd be so far from home, and that this was his first 'real' job and he'd be HOURS from any kind of family/friend support. If you've ever met my husband and got to know him a little bit, you know how big of a deal it was for him to move so far away, and how incredibly brave he was for taking that leap alone.
The job was for a construction company. Cool right? Right, but not in Midland/Odessa Texas. That place is hot, hot, hot. I swear I'd walk out of our apartment to get in the car and feel like I needed to turn right back around and take another shower. That is completely beside the point. Midland was a days drive from where my job was. How on earth were we going to make this work? After much talk we decided that a job was a job and that he would start there in April and I would remain at my job until the school year was over. Then after our wedding I'd move there and we'd decide what to do. We very quickly realized that living in west Texas is not part of our 'dream life' and that it wouldn't make sense for me to leave my teaching position in Oklahoma to try and get into the Texas school system. They were on a hiring freeze at the time anyway.
So it was decided. Bill would work in Midland, I would work in Kingston. We'd live apart during the week and try to meet up on the weekends. Most of the time it ended up being every other weekend. That sucked. It was awful to be apart for so many days. It ended up that flying was easier, but expensive, so we took that route for a while. Bill would fly in on a Friday evening and I'd pick him up at Love Field and then we'd have roughly a 36 hours to see each other and then I'd be right back there sending him back. I swear I could cure the current drought situation if I'd bottled all of the tears I shed during that year and a half. It could have been my devastation of being left alone during our first year of marriage, or it was the hormones coursing through my body at lightning speed since someone thought it was a great idea to become pregnant four months after she got married. What???? Don't switch BC and think that there isn't a 'waiting period' before that kicks in. There is...I have proof. His name is Billy.
After the project he was assigned to wrapped up, he was transferred to a new site in Dallas. Hallelujah! I felt like he was moving home, but Dallas isn't home. It's still 2 hours from home. So that job had its issues and Bill was able to get on with a new company. It had a factory which meant a permanent location. Score! No more construction and their crazy time lines and missed end dates. More importantly, no more moving around or being transferred here there and everywhere. As it turned out that job was not exactly a rose garden. I don't think any job really is. There is always someone stirring the pot, making things difficult for others, or someone who is just generally dissatisfied in their own existence that they've made it their life's mission to make everyone around them just as miserable as they are. Give me a break. So Bill was on the hunt again. Living apart was somewhat easier at this point. I guess you just get used to it. I was crying less often on those dreaded Sunday evenings, and I was consuming myself with parenting our sweet son, who was at this point about to be one. Life was going pretty good. We'd settled into a routine and were going through the motions. I'd like to say that everything was all candy and sunshine, but let's face it. No marriage is all the time, and when you're doing long distance, it's more raisin bran and overcast.
That's pretty much where we've been. I feel like I'm on this treadmill training and training, waiting and waiting for the race to start. When will we get live together?! It's caused a lot of tension and tons of anxiety. I know I should be happy and grateful for what we've been given, but in my Disney/fairytale/delusional mind I just know that this was not how it was supposed to go. This is not how our lives are meant to be lived. I'm not cut out to be the only parent doing t-ball practice and games alone. I want my partner there. I NEED my partner there. Who's going to laugh with me when Billy does something totally crazy and stupid in front of a crowd at a little league game? Who's going to take pictures when he goes to his first day of Kindergarten? Who's going help Billy with homework when I'm cooking or making lesson plans? I wasn't meant to do it alone. I'm sure of it. I'm more sure of that than anything I've ever known.
Well that's all about to change. I don't have to do it alone anymore. Bill's going to be there for the games, the homework, the firsts. It has been hard for him to miss out on so many of them so far. But no longer. :)
Bill's moving back to Oklahoma!!! He accepted an offer with a company close to home and I am still shocked. What I've prayed, hoped, dreamed, and wished for since the first time I had to drive away and leave him in Midland is coming true. We get to be a family under one roof. FINALLY!!!
I'm still stunned and I'm not sure that I fully believe it's happening. But it is.
So there it is. My big news. My honey is coming home. So I guess I'd better learn how to cook, keep up with laundry, and shave my legs more often. It's cool though. He's worth it. And the best part is Billy doesn't have to miss him anymore. We don't have to dread Sunday night, or have facetime chats to 'make it through' until Friday, or separate lives. We'll be together. *sigh*
I'm a happy camper. Thank you God. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Mrs. T
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