Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Big News

April 2010 was a significant month in the history of our relationship.  We had been engaged for a few months and were right in the middle of planning our June 12 nuptials.  Planning our wedding had been relatively low stress and more excitement.  I was CONSUMED.  So when Bill got a safety job, oh my word finally, I was ecstatic!  I wouldn't have to worry how to support the two of us on my teacher salary.  Along with the excitement came a flood of other emotions.  I was so proud of him for sticking it out in a tough job market and going after a job that would value him for his degree and his knowledge, or so we thought.  I was nervous that he'd be so far from home, and that this was his first 'real' job and he'd be HOURS from any kind of family/friend support.  If you've ever met my husband and got to know him a little bit, you know how big of a deal it was for him to move so far away, and how incredibly brave he was for taking that leap alone.   

The job was for a construction company.  Cool right?  Right, but not in Midland/Odessa Texas.  That place is hot, hot, hot.  I swear I'd walk out of our apartment to get in the car and feel like I needed to turn right back around and take another shower.  That is completely beside the point.  Midland was a days drive from where my job was.  How on earth were we going to make this work?  After much talk we decided that a job was a job and that he would start there in April and I would remain at my job until the school year was over.  Then after our wedding I'd move there and we'd decide what to do.  We very quickly realized that living in west Texas is not part of our 'dream life' and that it wouldn't make sense for me to leave my teaching position in Oklahoma to try and get into the Texas school system.  They were on a hiring freeze at the time anyway. 

So it was decided.  Bill would work in Midland, I would work in Kingston.  We'd live apart during the week and try to meet up on the weekends.  Most of the time it ended up being every other weekend.  That sucked.  It was awful to be apart for so many days.  It ended up that flying was easier, but expensive, so we took that route for a while.  Bill would fly in on a Friday evening and I'd pick him up at Love Field and then we'd have roughly a 36 hours to see each other and then I'd be right back there sending him back.  I swear I could cure the current drought situation if I'd bottled all of the tears I shed during that year and a half.  It could have been my devastation of being left alone during our first year of marriage, or it was the hormones coursing through my body at lightning speed since someone thought it was a great idea to become pregnant four months after she got married.  What????  Don't switch BC and think that there isn't a 'waiting period' before that kicks in.  There is...I have proof.  His name is Billy.

After the project he was assigned to wrapped up, he was transferred to a new site in Dallas.  Hallelujah!  I felt like he was moving home, but Dallas isn't home.  It's still 2 hours from home.  So that job had its issues and Bill was able to get on with a new company.  It had a factory which meant a permanent location. Score!  No more construction and their crazy time lines and missed end dates.  More importantly, no more moving around or being transferred here there and everywhere.  As it turned out that job was not exactly a rose garden.  I don't think any job really is.  There is always someone stirring the pot, making things difficult for others, or someone who is just generally dissatisfied in their own existence that they've made it their life's mission to make everyone around them just as miserable as they are.  Give me a break.  So Bill was on the hunt again.  Living apart was somewhat easier at this point.  I guess you just get used to it.  I was crying less often on those dreaded Sunday evenings, and I was consuming myself with parenting our sweet son, who was at this point about to be one.  Life was going pretty good.  We'd settled into a routine and were going through the motions.  I'd like to say that everything was all candy and sunshine, but let's face it.  No marriage is all the time, and when you're doing long distance, it's more raisin bran and overcast.

That's pretty much where we've been.  I feel like I'm on this treadmill training and training, waiting and waiting for the race to start.  When will we get live together?!  It's caused a lot of tension and tons of anxiety.  I know I should be happy and grateful for what we've been given, but in my Disney/fairytale/delusional mind I just know that this was not how it was supposed to go.  This is not how our lives are meant to be lived.  I'm not cut out to be the only parent doing t-ball practice and games alone.  I want my partner there.  I NEED my partner there.  Who's going to laugh with me when Billy does something totally crazy and stupid in front of a crowd at a little league game?  Who's going to take pictures when he goes to his first day of Kindergarten?  Who's going help Billy with homework when I'm cooking or making lesson plans?  I wasn't meant to do it alone.  I'm sure of it.  I'm more sure of that than anything I've ever known.

Well that's all about to change.  I don't have to do it alone anymore.  Bill's going to be there for the games, the homework, the firsts.  It has been hard for him to miss out on so many of them so far.  But no longer.  :)

Bill's moving back to Oklahoma!!! He accepted an offer with a company close to home and I am still shocked.  What I've prayed, hoped, dreamed, and wished for since the first time I had to drive away and leave him in Midland is coming true.  We get to be a family under one roof.  FINALLY!!! 

I'm still stunned and I'm not sure that I fully believe it's happening.  But it is. 

So there it is.  My big news.  My honey is coming home.  So I guess I'd better learn how to cook, keep up with laundry, and shave my legs more often.  It's cool though.  He's worth it.  And the best part is Billy doesn't have to miss him anymore.  We don't have to dread Sunday night, or have facetime chats to 'make it through' until Friday, or separate lives.  We'll be together. *sigh* 

I'm a happy camper.  Thank you God.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Mrs. T

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Diet/Fitness Update and other stuff

Since my "cool down" over Spring Break (That's what I'm calling my one trip to the gym and my one run that I managed that week.) I've had trouble getting my groove back.  My diet seems to have returned to better choices, minus that Gigi's cupcake I had for breakfast...whoops! But I've had trouble making it to the gym like I had been.  My usual routine was classes 4 times a week and running the two days that I didn't go.  For the last two weeks I've only gone to the gym a total of  four times and I only got in one run.  My mind, attitude, patience level and body have defiantly felt the lack of sweat time.  So I made a point this week to get back at it.

Monday I started back slow with an hour of R.I.P.P.E.D.  I felt like I was going to need oxygen and possibly help to my car.  It was hard. I'm sure Sasha was sick of me telling her how I was dying in between each set.  Our instructor never let up, and I'm thankful for that. It was just the push I needed.

Tuesday I had a meeting after school. By the time that was over I had missed Sculpt and Ride and was late for Step.  Lately it has been a cat fit to try to get a step so I bowed out on that.  I decided to hop on the treadmill and wait for Barbell Blast to start.  Throughout my run on the treadmill I thought about all the crap I've been through since I started, quit, restarted, quit, restarted again and quit again on my fitness journey.  When "Dog Days are Over" started playing through my headphones I got a little choked up. I started my journey on my own in my very early twenties and was never committed.  It was after I had my son and finally got fed up with what I was seeing in the mirror That I decided, I mean really decided it was time for a change.  I also realized that I wasn't having "fat" days. I was FAT.  Sorry to bust out the 'F' word but man.  I was on my way to size 14 and XL everything. I'm only 5'3". So I was fat and finally saw myself for who I had become, for what I'd allowed myself to do to my body and for what I allowed it to do to my attitude and my self esteem. Ouch.  So thinking about all of that and about how I've finally got my head right this time made me proud, a little sad that it took me so long to figure it out, but mostly proud.  Tuesday night I beat my mile time.  Smoked it actually. :) Then I pumped some iron in Barbell Blast.  Tuesday was a GREAT workout.

Wednesday I continued with the positive momentum.  I took another R.I.P.P.E.D class and then a Spin class after.  I busted it out and burned over 1200 calories.  That's not a typo folks 1-2-0-0 calories!  Check my watch.  I ain't lying!

Thursday I had every intention of walking Billy around the park in his stroller and playing with him on the playground.  Instead he cried for his "Papa", Bill's dad, so we went to the body shop to hang with the guys.  Billy was one happy little dude with all the big boys.

Yesterday we packed up and headed south to work a garage sale today at "Nana's", Bill's mom's house.  So far it's been going great.  I'm hot and tired so I decided to take a break from making deals and blog in the a/c.  It's hot in Dallas, TX today y'all!  I'm about 99% sure I got a little sun. Holla!

So this week I did way better with my diet and I'm back on track with my workouts.
Grand total pounds lost so far......drum roll....about 25!!!!!!!  I think it's time for some new clothes.  Hubby, whatcha think???  Can we go thrift shopping??? lol  That song is in my head all the time.  I just want to pop some tags with twenty dollas in my pocket. 

Tonight we're off to the races.  No really, we are.  I'll be the redneck in a Jeff Gordon shirt NOT guzzling beer (it smells like pee and I can't get over it) so see if you can find me on T.V. Ha!

I'll post later with tales of my people watching during the garage sale today and from the race tonight.  It should be a good one!

I'm out!
Mrs. T

Monday, April 8, 2013

This Girl Is On Fire!


Last week in a quick recap.  Ready go! As Sasha would say...

Bill and I, with our family, had Billy baptized on Easter Eve.  It was such a sweet service.  Love, love, love.

Speaking of Love...and on a much more frivolous note...I love my chevron dress.  I've worn it one other time but it fits way better now.  :)

Easter weekend was so much fun.  Last year Billy wasn't walking yet so he just crawled around my parents' living room floor and chewed on the plastic eggs.  This year was so different.  He dyed eggs, tore into his basket, and ran after eggs.  He loved it and we loved doing it with him.

As for the rest of the week, well, it came, and it went.  There's really not much nice to say about it.  It was one of the toughest weeks I've had at work since my first year.  That year was full of nonsense, I'll share that story later.  So I'll just say, I don't have anything nice to say, so I won't say anything at all.  I did learn a lesson though.  I can only control myself, not what others think, do or say.  And that it is ok if someone doesn't like me.  They're crazy not to, but it's ok.  The world will still spin 'round.

I ended the week on a high note.  Bill was home to hang with us and I got to spend time with some of my ladies.  We went to Painting with a Twist.  Good times.  Very good times.  We will go again soon!!!

It's no Picasso, but I think it's awesome!

Ok, workouts/eating was NOT great last week.  I've kept off the 25lbs I've lost since November, but I slacked WAY off.

This week is off to a good start.  My workout bud, Sasha, and I nearly died no really, I had trouble breathing the WHOLE time but we didn't quit.  We made it through and then vowed to not slack off again.  It's too hard to get back where we were.  Eh, ya know.  Two steps forward, one step back.  It's life!  I burned a little over 700 calories so there's that.

I guess that's about it for now.  Hopefully I can shrug off this funk and stress from work quickly.  I'm way more fun when I'm not all Negative Nancy.

Here's to a Terrific Tuesday!

I'm out!
Mrs. T